Monday, July 25, 2005

Wedding Crashers - Reviewed by the Five Paragraph Bitter Film Critic

I am so not bitter about this movie. Set in Maryland and DC, full of local landmarks but not dependent on them, I laughed, and I giggled, and, indeed, I even snorted. Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson (I can tell Les Freres Wilson apart because Owen's got the busted schnozz) are brilliant as two mid-30s guys who infiltrate weddings and hook-up with comely and lonely bridesmaids. Why I never thought of this strategy beforehand is beyond me. The gratuitous nudity in the beginning is shocking in that it appears casting agents found the last set of 8 real breasts in Hollywood.

Christopher Walken is Christopher Walken - a commanding screen presence in any role. He plays the tough, conservative Cabinet member with a good mix of political savvy and parental responsibility. America's Future Sweetheart Rachel McAdams, as the daughter of the Secretary of Treasury Christopher Walken, plays the love interest for Busted Schnozz Wilson, and does the role with a good mixture of sweetness, sarcasm, girl-next-door sexiness and a heaping dollop of adorable moles and beauty marks. Isla Fisher damned near steals the show as the psycho, but cute, other daughter of SecTreas. Keir O'Donnell is a hoot as semi-closeted gay artist son Todd. Will Ferrell appears for a few minutes - the guy is funny, even in a small role. The still-smokin' Jane Seymour plays the sexually unfufilled wife of the Secretary, Kathleen, and, sadly, was given too small a part. It looks like Dr. Quinn could give Mrs. Robinson an update, should Hollywood decide to remake "The Graduate. "

Crap. Shouldn't have opened my mouth. Access Hollywood is reporting that casting has just now begun, with Topher Grace being considered for the Benjamin Braddock role, and Scarlett Johansson as young, naive Elaine. The White Stripes are being pegged as Simon and Garfunkle replacements, though John Mayer and Nelly are said to have interest in the project.

However, there is one person to hate - Bradley Cooper plays Mizz McAdams' jackass fiance' with a smug prep school boy attitude that would be so fake if it didn't remind me of half the guys I went to prep school with! He's so over the top that the audience seriously hates this guy before the halfway mark of the movie. If I was his agent, I'd get him a role where he's saving cute puppies from AIDS-infected zombies from Syria, or he's doomed to playing smug rich white bad guys in made-for-Showtime specials.

The key to this movie, though, is Vince Vaughn. He is an absolute riot in the movie, and he has maybe 4 lines of unfunny dialogue the entire time, and everything else is damned near brilliant. His motormouth delivery, so vital to "Swingers," is back in fine form here, and while he may be playing "himself", nobody plays Vince Vaughn better than Vince Vaughn.

---- 4 1/2 out of 5 Whammies! A 1/2 Whammy was subtracted due to having Christopher Walken and Will Ferrell together, and no cowbell to be found anywhere. One measly cowbell, dammit! That's all I ask. ----


lad said...

Great review! I couldn't agree more. Vince Vaughn sells everything he says with the utmost confidence. He and Wilson bounce off of each other and seem to be a perfect blend. Everyone in the theater burst into laughter before Ferrell even opened his mouth.

goodsnake said...

I might actually go see this now. I had decided against it, but now that I can put the movie in it's proper perspective, I just might enjoy it. I did love Vince Vaughn in Dodgeball.