"Good Morning America" Laughing While Whale's Vagina Burns

Please, tell me it was just my imagination, oooooh, running away with me.

Please tell me that I was only imagining it when ABC's Good Morning America reporter was cackling like a harpy in front of the burned-out carcass of a San Diego-area house this morning. Some doofus back in the studio made a "TV-friendly joke" (completely forgettable and with no cussing) as they tossed it live to a reporter in the charred hills around San Diego. The reporter in the field was LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY at whatever lame-ass joke it was...five feet in front of somebody's ruined home...and then changed his tone instantly into a somber, reserved pitch.

I turned on the TV before leaving for work. It gives the dogs something to listen to throughout the day. ABC's Good Morning America was on, and I watched this exchange in horror for a few moments before I had to leave for work. I've never seen such insensitive reporting from the site of a major catastrophe. It's one thing to be safely tucked in a studio 1000 miles away to make an inappropriate comment (hola, Brother Wolf Blitzer and your Katrina-inspired "so poor, so black" gaffe), but to be on site, looking at people's lives being destroyed by these fires, and to laugh on what's left of their property... wow.

If I can find this clip on YouTube or something, I'm definitely posting it. Please tell me I was just still asleep, or on Comedy Central or something. Anything.

Don't tell me broadcast journalism standards of taste and decorum are that bad.

This Generation Needs a New Chris Crocker

It seems like so long ago when Chris Crocker, the little boy who looks a little too much like real woman Rebecca Romjin, told us all, while wearing a touch of mascara and crying like evangelical teenager at a Michael W. Smith concert, to LEAVE BRITNEY SPEARS ALONE RIGHT NOW!

I, for one, heeded his advice. I left Britney Spears alone right then and there, and her life has been going swimmingly since.

But my friends and readers and random strangers I may never meet, we need a new Chris Crocker, somebody to take the reins of a New Revolution, to launch a rallying cry on a viral video that will save all if us from certain terror:

George Lucas is planning a "Star Wars" tv show.

George...stop.

Please, stop.

You've pissed on my beloved childhood memories of seeing your films in the old Plaza theater in Annapolis. You can't leave those movies alone, and you botched the prequels by having too many computer generated characters and not enough, well, plot and story line.

Now you want to put Star Wars on TV full of minor characters?

That show's already been done. It's called "Bad Syndicated Sci-Fi Show That Fans Praise For Its Stellar Writing With Furry Fan Fiction on Message Boards Across the World But the Rest Of America Couldn't Pick the Cast Out of a Police Lineup with Bill Cosby, Leslie Bibb and Clay Aiken."

LEAVE JEK PORKINS ALONE RIGHT NOW!!!

#2 on Catch Up Day

#2) Don't try to slice veggies with a crappy knife.

Or else THIS will happen (WARNING - don't click if you don't like blood)

This doesn't look that bad, until you realize it had been bleeding for 30 minutes prior to these photos.

If the link doesn't work, let me know and I'll make the gallery public, or post it on my Flickr page.

Today is "Catch Up" Day

I have had a lot of things that I wished to blog about, and I'll try to get a lot of them posted today.



#1) From the "Don't Say I Didn't Warn You" file: - CBS has cancelled "Viva Laughlin" after two episodes.

I wrote earlier:

Viva Laughlin - Drama/Musical - This is Hugh Jackman's production of a casino manager in the resort area of Laughlin, Nevada. It's supposed to be a musical drama, and before you can say "Cop Rock" this sucker will be gone. It's got pretty people, it's decently-shot and written, BUT, the idea of having a musical is for song-and-dance routines, right? Except these folks don't dance much, and the singing is actually karaoke. They have the original song going simultaneously, so these actors are pretty much mouthing the words. So, if the actor is singing an Elvis song, Elvis is singing right along with the actor.

It looks pathetic, though Hugh Jackman's cool.

I could have saved CBS a lot of money and a lot of embarrassment if they'd just asked me first. "Telecomic, the Telecomedian, does this show suck?" and I'd have said "Oh yes. Yes it does. Like a new prisoner trying to save his ass."

Love Didn't Tear Them Apart; Synthesizers Did.

This must be the gloomiest street in America, only because it's blissfully unaware of the entendre.

I saw "The Darjeeling Limited" this weekend, Wes Anderson's latest long film full of uncomfortable silence, awkward characters and inspired cinematography. While I'm not sure if "TDL" is worth a full review - it's a Wes Anderson film; you either like his work or you don't, and you surely know the answer by now - but I was fascinated by the preview of the Ian Curtis biopic "Control."

Here's a Salon piece on the movie, written by an unapologetic Joy Division fan. I was an early convert, as I still have "Substance" and "Closer" on vinyl. As I'm somewhat aware of his story, I figure a Curtis biography would be vital, and past due like a library book.

For those unaware of the power, or, I should say, the influence of Joy Division, I want you to listen to pretty much any new indie rock. Tune your XM to channel 43, XMU, or surf over to Myspace, and search for "I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness." Or, click your iPod over to "The Killers" or "My Bloody Valentine" or "Interpol" or "The Strokes" or...you get the picture.

And then hit up the music supplier of your choice (iTunes, Hypem, Rhapsody) or, better yet, a real honest-to-God record store, and listen to "Substance." It's their best-of, and it's friggin' dark, and bleak and wonderful.

I'm assuming it will play at the E Street Cinemas, The AFI in Silver Spring or Shirlington's Artsy Theaters, but there's nothing listed for it yet.

Sad Day - Red Shipley's Passed

Red was the host of "Stained Glass Bluegrass" on WAMU for years. He passed away the other day from cancer. The story can be found on the Post's Website.

My former stepfather, Butch, who also passed from cancer, was a devoted listener, and any Sunday morning drive with Butch meant Red would be in the vehicle too, playing gospel-flavored bluegrass. As bluegrass and gospel are my two least-favorite types of music next to Phillip Glass experimental pieces, I always hated that show.

But, as a fan of radio, I knew a good, powerful voice when I heard one, and Red not only was a good talker, but was devoted to his subject.

Hopefully he and Butch are talking about "pickin' `n' grinnin'" in a better place.

Dating In DeeCee

I Now Pronounce You over at DCBlogs wrote a wonderful piece about dating in DC, and it's so friggin' spot on, it's like a Dalmatian orgy, except Petey is played by Peter North.

I hear it all the time in DC from men and women alike; dating in this town sucks! All the women are gold diggers and all the men are jerks because they have it so easy since there are 2943 women to every guy. Everyone’s opening line is “so what do you do” and all anyone cares about is what kind of car you drive and who signs your paycheck.

Allow me to weigh in on this;

Shut up shut up oh please for the love of GOD shut up.

I applauded when I read that. I applauded again when I re-read that. I had to comment.

Perhaps the reason why dating in DC sucks is because many of the people who are single do, indeed, suck.

I'm single, and try not to suck. It takes work to not suck. I don't care about my job, my income level, the political scene and what type of car people drive. I'm not obsessed by my stock portfolio, a condo in Columbia Heights or whether my children would get a quality education in DC Public Schools. I haven't waited in line at McFadden's nor have I hit on a woman who is younger than my Cure CDs. I like the music I like, and while the Black Cat and RRH get some great acts, I don't obsess over their schedules like a conspiracy theorist over the Zapruder film. I haven't grabbed the NYTimes Sunday edition and walked to the Starbucks at DuPont to do the crossword puzzle in pen.

And for the love of God, I refuse to see The Capitol Steps. They suck.

I'm 34, and a lot of my friends are within 5 or so years of me. Most of them are single as well, though a couple of married couples are beginning to sneak in. Still, the vast majority of my friends are regularly dating, or, at least attempting to date.

And yes, they gripe about how hard it is to date in this city, too.

Granted, DC does seem to lead the league in workaholics-per-neighborhood, there are way too many lawyers and lobbyists, and the Factory Town mentality of the city (the Factory in this case being the Federal Government) does seem to attract a more bookish sort. However, there are also a ton of unmarried folks looking for love. Surely the sheer population of singles should help, right?

Or, perhaps people are, as the song says and INPY confirms, looking for love in all the wrong places.

I can speak of this with some authority because of my association with MeetInDC.

MeetIn.org was founded several years ago as a social networking site, but the twist is that this site is for actually meeting people and going out and doing things. It's not about having 1,000 Myspace friends or whose Facebook Wall is more popular. Most major cities in North America have a local chapter, and its spread throughout Asia, Europe and Oceania. This site is about getting a group of folks together and going to the Smithsonian, walking the C&O Canal, or getting buttered at the Brickskellar. Want to try a new restaurant and can't get anybody to go with you? Put an event up on MeetIn and surely some folks would like to come.

I have met some wonderful friends through MeetIn, and have had some fantastic travels with various members of the group since I joined in 2005. I wouldn't trade them, and those who I have become friends with, I cherish.

BUT...

There's a problem with Meetin. MeetIncest. As with all co-ed social organizations, there will always be a certain amount of dating that goes on within the group, no matter how "non-pickup scene" the group tries to be. College alumni associations, professional trade unions - you name it, and somebody's going to dip their pen in company ink. MeetIn events are often fun dates, like a movie, restaurant, picnic or hike, but without the pressure of a date. Often, such a relaxed atmosphere makes for prime dating, and it's not unusual to see folks spend more time talking to one or two people than to 20 or 30.

The problem arises when people go to events just to meet members of the opposite sex. ESPECIALLY to events where there will be lots of newer members. Then, it suddenly becomes a pick-up scene, and that goes against one of the founding tenets of the group. And the sad part is that not all of the people who fall into this category are bad people. They just want to date somebody but have no idea how to meet somebody outside of the group.

It's pathetic. And, a little bit banal.

This sudden, impromptu pickup joint mentality is brutal. Older members have complained that the group isn't nearly as fun as it used to be, attractive newer members get scared away because they're constantly being hit on, and all that leaves is a core of relatively desperate folks who have either dated their way through the group or who want to.

As you can imagine, this puts a hell of damper on those of us who like to attend events to hang out, meet people and see the sights.

I'll admit, I've dated women in Meetin, but only after we'd gotten to know each other through a series of events. It wasn't like I went to a karaoke night and said "I need me some action. I'm hitting on...this one!" and picked a random girl from the group. There's a big difference between getting to know somebody over the course of a few months and just grabbing a girl for a quick fling.

Is it any surprise that those who complain the most about this being a bad dating town are those who keep going to the same ole' events, seeing the same ole' people, and not doing anything different?

*sigh*

Those who don't study history, especially recent history, are doomed to repeat it.