Recently, I discovered these two sites:
Dudes in the world of the Flash
and Dudes in the Marvel universe.
...whenever I have a day when I'm not sure if I'm as hip as I think, or that not-so-cool feeling, I take solace in the fact that real human being geeks researched this information from comic books and made a website about it.
And, to really make me find my inner Clooney, I know that there are even bigger geeks out there that will nitpick the hell out of these sites and point out factual errors about fictional characters.
I'll admit to having a fairly short, but intense, X-Men phase in the first couple of years of high school, along with X-Factor, Excalibur and the Wolverine series. But once I discovered the joys of driving, guitars in minor chords and girls, I was done.
Still...it would be f*ckin' cool to have metal claws like Wolverine. I'd have the best cooking show on TV - "So, I'm going to cut this slab of pork to look like the late, great comedian Mitch Hedberg. Let me use my razor-sharp claws on my left hand to shape his porkchop hair. You can do this at home...IF YOU HAD F*CKIN' CLAWS IN YOUR HAND, TOO!! BUT YOU DON'T!! Hahahahaha!!!"
Still...I'd feel bad for Wolverine. I'd hate to see him during his awkward, getting-to-learn-his-powers phase that all comic book heros have, fooling around with his first girlfriend. He had 8 girlfriends, none who survived the puncture wounds after getting to "third base."
Except Angelina Jolie. She's into the kinky bleeding stuff.
- me
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