Now, I can not take credit for this theory, as it was posited to me by somebody else here in the DC/Baltimore universe. But it's a damned good theory. Whomever came up with this, please step forward and take a bow.
The idea is this - smart, well-to-do, educated people aren't having many kids. Many couples who have the financial means and emotional stability to have kids aren't. And, when they do, they have one, maybe two.
Why is this a problem? Because dumb and poor people keep rutting, and they expand their brood exponentially. Statistics bear out that poverty generally begats more poverty. As is painfully evident on America's Funniest Home Videos and Cops each week, stupidity begats stupidity.
It's generally pretty hard for a stupid, poor kid to go to college. You pretty much need college in order to get a good job. Therefore, lots of dumb people will be put into smart people's jobs because there's not enough smart people to go around.
Countries where education is sacred and work ethic is revered will either export their smart people here, or the smart people jobs will go overseas.
Therefore, those of us in our late 20s, 30s and 40s represent North America's last chance at fending off a massive wave of stupidity in the year 2040. Our children have a fighting chance at fighting off the Stupid Boom by being smart, thoughtful, emotionally-capable people fully functional in the workplace.
So go out and make a baby today! Lots of `em! If Woodsy the Owl or Smokey the Bear or Sexual Harassment Panda or even Gary the No Trash Cougar can say "Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires," then Humpy the Pregnant Placenta can say "Only You Can Prevent Stupidity!"
Go do it for Humpy! Do it for America! Be a Pregnant Patriot!
(except, don't ask me to do it. I hate kids)
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