more slower thans...

... than an Iowan with a Palm Pilot
... than CVS in flu season
... than a government employee on break
... than a Pentium 133/16MB RAM trying to run SuSE Linux 5.3 ( I mean, seriously, who would do that???)
... than a Mexican restaurant during the Atkin's Diet craze
... than a ghetto movie theater playing "Sideways"
... than a redneck family wondering how they got a free trip to Chicago, only to be "shocked" when they appear on Jerry Springer
... that same family wondering why their trailer home gets punk'd by every tornado in a four state radius
... than a Georgian watching Dennis Miller
... than Muhammad Ali reading a limerick
... than a Colorado surfer
... than Samuel Beckett's sequel "Godot STILL Ain't Here Yet"
... than a drunk guy ordering at Denny's at 3:12AM
... than a stripper on Jeopardy!
... than a Star Trek fan on a date