FIXYOURTHINKING.COM: Congress To Get Personal About The Personals

FIXYOURTHINKING.COM: Congress To Get Personal About The Personals

I have a new hero.

Not the guy I linked to above, though I've been stuck on his blog for the past couple hours, sifting through scores of Apple-related posts. But my new hero is my young coworker Mr. Garcia. Fresh from Austin, Texas, working for a defense contractor here in NoVA, he seemed somewhat out of his element when he joined my agency last month. Nice enough fellow, I figured I'd introduce him to some of my friends if he was feeling lonely. I've got a good group of Austin Ex-Pats around here, and we could all pound a couple of Shiner Bocks and talk about S. Congress Street like a new-wave Virginia-based Merry Pranksters, albeit with better grooming and high-speed internet access.

Mr. Garcia had commented to me about an intern at a nearby agency who seemed to have a certain look about her - that look being hot and blonde. I hadn't noticed, and once Mr. Garcia pointed her out, I was a big fan. However, there was something I couldn't figure out - who wears skin-tight jeans at a government agency in the summer?

Answer - a European intern, that's who! I ran into her the other day at the elevators, and she was talking to one of her friends in that Eastern European accent that makes me wish I had been born a decade ealier, gone to the CIA, and become a spy. She's pretty decent in all physical aspects - a solid 7 or 8, I'd say, and, in the DoDefense, that makes her The Hottest Woman Ever.

Well, I saw Mr. Garcia today, and to tell him of the encounter, and he told me "Yeah, she's Romanian." I said "You've done your homework." He said "Yeah, we went out on a date already. Going out again."

That, my friends, is a man who is going places.

Anyway, back to the post. I was Slashdotted to this guy's post about the worst date ever. I didn't pay any attention to it - honestly, the internet is full of gawd-awful dating stories - why should I care about somebody else's?

Well, his story is truly awful. About the worst I've heard, and makes my previous horrible experiences all move down a notch in comparison. Suddenly, Woman Who Heard Voices, Girl Who Danced at The Exorcist house in Georgetown, and, the coup-de-grace, The Woman With Sandpaper Hands have all paled under the shining light of Internet Dating Hell this poor Apple tech has faced.