Thursday, August 11, 2005

Why I'm Bailing on online dating

A few random reasons over the past couple of months why I'm giving up my Match.com ad:

1) If you're mad at your current boyfriend, and are reading this site out of spite, please don't go so far as to create a profile, respond to a few ads, go out on a couple of dates, and then decide you're not mad at your boyfriend anymore. You wouldn't trust a guy who would do that; so why do it yourself?

2) If you then get re-mad at the boyfriend, don't call up one of the aforementioned dates, and beg forgiveness, and then get back with the boyfriend anyway.

3) If you hear voices in your head - not like an inner dialogue, but, seriously, multiple voices - please don't reply to an ad. You need to go to therapy.

4) Please don't tell a guy you've fallen in love with them after the first MEETING. I'm not a bad guy, but I'm also not that dang sexy.

5) If you tell a guy that you like them, and can't wait to see them again...don't wait over a month to even talk to them again, let alone even reply to an email.

6) Do not spend your entire time ont he first date telling me about how there are no worthwhile single men in the DC area anymore. Please. I don't have time for your psuedo-drama.

7) Simply be honest - be honest in your emails, be honest on your phone calls, and be honest if and when we finally meet. If you lied about your pictures, your profile, your status - it'll all become painfully obvious in person. So, just be yourself.

8 comments:

Cheetah Kittens said...

I think what we need to do is start pairing up your dates with my dates. :-)

cboo6jqlt48peir said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Telecomedian said...

My women combined with Detective Mangy's men would form the most unholy alliance. And the offspring from such a meeting...ugh!

Anonymous said...

You're adorable. Not sure why you would even have to use a dating site.

Telecomedian said...

Awww, thanks for your sweet comment about why I would even have to use a dating site, but I'm still not going to go out with you, Dad.

Anonymous said...

Dad here. Don't sass me boy. I'll bend you over my knee and uh, um...nevermind. Any guess as to who this is?

Telecomedian said...

Well, given the fact you've already mentioned that it's you, Dad, I'm gonna go with "Dad, final answer" except for one, teensey problem.

My dad died in 2002.

So, I'm gonna go with either a young lass in Northern Virginia, or a kooky young lass in California, or, Mom.

Anonymous said...

Define "young" lass in N. VA.