Monday, May 15, 2006

NEWS ALERT - Rapper Boasts that He Sucks!

From the New York Daily News - Thanks Lloyd Grove!

If Kevin Federline really wants to be a rapper, maybe he should start writing his own rhymes.
Rapper William (Ya Boy) Crawford claims it was he, not Federline, who wrote two of K-Fed's much-hyped rap singles: "F- the Media" and "America's Most Hated" - which goes: "Kevin Federline, I come tight with every rhyme, I built a kingdom down the street from Pepperdine."

During a recent appearance on the popular San Francisco radio show "Strawberry in the Morning," Crawford took credit for both songs - which Mr. Britney Spears has proudly touted as his own.

"Yep, both of those. Yep," Crawford insisted.


Bragging about writing raps for Kevin Federline... you just admitted to the world that you suck. That's like bragging that you were Charlie Sheen's marriage counselor or Tara Reid's plastic surgeon. Or AA Sponsor.

But he distanced himself from Federline's first single, an ode to female posteriors called "Popozao." Sample lyric: "Toy all your thing on me, baby."

"I didn't have nothing to with that, dog," Crawford said.


Apparently, even rappers begging for attention have a base modicum of taste.


Yesterday, Federline's spokeswoman, Marilyn Lopez, tried to put Crawford's revelations in context: "This is not true that Ya Boy has put Kevin under his wing. They do, however, collaborate together."


As I close my eyes to imagine this unholy pairing, I am struck with the disturbing scene in Boogie Nights where Dirk Diggler tried to launch a singing career based on his awful singing voice and lousy songwriting. Painful to watch, painful to listen to, and definitely so painful as to be hilarious.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go take my journalism classes from Jayson Blair.

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