Tuesday, April 25, 2006

from the "8 Years Too Late" Department

Cindy Margolis to pose for 'Playboy'

from the USAToday

Cindy Margolis, known as the "Most Downloaded Woman" on the Internet, is following up her win on Celebrity Cooking Showdown with a career first — posing nude for Playboy.

The mother of three told The Associated Press that she finally agreed to pose for the magazine when they called on her 40th birthday.

"Thank goodness for Desperate Housewives. You're not dead just because you are married and have children," the actress and model said Monday, on the phone from her Los Angeles home.

After turning down offers to pose for the magazine in the past, Margolis said she accepted this time because she felt posing nude at the age of 40 is empowering.

Once upon a time, say, the Clinton Administration, I would have been overjoyed to hear this news. Her pin-up photos from a younger, gentler time of Internet smut served as a wonderful respite from the masses of silicone-stretched chests and collagen-abused lips. She showed some skin - a little less than the average Sports' Illustrated Swinsuit Issue, a little more than the JC Penney catalog - but always with a certain "girl-next-door" charm that only a charmed few have in their neighborhoods.

She was the Most Downloaded Woman in history, according to her website's bio. She had a TV show and appeared on all the talk shows. She was Brooke Burke before Brooke Burke.

Now, I'm normally pretty psyched to see naked women, especially hot ones. However, Cindy Margolis's explanation of "empowerment" is pathetic, and more transparent than a spring roll. She's still a pretty woman, but she's not the fresh-faced, sun-kissed blonde with just a hint of something naughty in her eyes - she's a 40-ish woman with over-shaped eyebrows and a bad nose job.

But she's realizing something now - the Internet made her a star, and then forgot her just as quickly. Margolis' photos were everywhere in the mid-1990s, and Photoshop experts everywhere examined her photos for Seinfeldian nipple slips the way conspiracy theorists study the Zapruder film. However, with the rise of "amateur" porn, any kid with a decent digital camera and a hot, but easily-duped girlfriend, can make a fortune online selling photos that definitely show what Margolis withheld for so long.

Perhaps...too long?

Playboy will pay her a truckload of money so she can show her body to the masses, yet Maxim will sell more issues with a half-clothed Katherine Heigl from Grey's Anatomy, or what TVGuide can do with Evangeline Lilly from Lost.

She's still hot, but she's got no heat.

Playboy will crank up their publicity machine, and remind the world of just who this Cindy Margolis person is anyway, and, in the end, will be the reminders of former pop star Tiffany, who, like Margolis, waited and waded a few too many years in a pool of obscurity before shedding her clothes before the camera. The result - a heavily-airbrushed photo of a not terribly interesting subject.


No comments: